Back to school promises to make to your children

If you had any school-related freak outs last year, these tips are for you. These new habits can change your whole approach to your kids’ homework, effort in the classroom, and future goals. And they can create a happier household.

Here are some school resolutions to make to yourself — and your family — to ensure a smooth back-to-school transition.

I Won’t Try and Do Everything
While it may be tempting to become a super parent at the beginning of the year, it’s generally unhealthy to be so micromanaging and engaged. Children pick up on a lot of signs from their parents, and if you’re stressed from trying to do more than you can or trying to do too many things at once, they’ll be more stressed, too.

I’ll Praise Effort, Not Intelligence
This will give kids a healthy understanding of good work ethic – while letting them know raw talent is not the only thing valued in our society.

I’ll Focus on the Moment Rather Than the Future
Back-to-school season is a time of uncertainty. This can create worry and anxiety for both you and your kids. Consider writing down your worries and look back at them in a few days, a few weeks and a few months. Many times, they don’t even come true.

Moving forward, consider that parents, students and teachers all put pressure on themselves to have the perfect year — but our imperfections support creativity, innovation and insight. Remind yourself and your child of this often.

I’ll Get to Know My Child’s Teacher
Whether you have to volunteer, or just send a few emails, make a point to let the teacher know you and your goals for your child. Having a relationship with another adult who spends a large amount of time with your child can help both of you in the long run and is a great way for you to gain insight to your child.

I Won’t Do Everything for My Kids
As much as you want to shelter and provide for your kids, you also need to help them grow into independent functioning adults. Give kids responsibilities at home and before and after school. Teachers say that letting kids make their own mistakes clues them into what they need to help with. If you are correcting their homework and doing their tasks, you aren’t helping them grow.

I’ll Pool Resources with Other Parents
Make friends with other parents in your child’s grade. There are so many ways you can help each other out. Talk about carpooling. Plan back-up care on snow days. Look for parents in your neighborhood who have children at the same school or whose children play in the same little league and invite them to join you in a car pool. This can reduce stress on all parties and give you a little more free time.

My Children will Earn Their Own Grades
Many parents need to resist the urge to correct or complete their child’s projects so they get a better grade than they deserve. Children need to display knowledge of what they have been taught and they should be allowed to feel the pride of accomplishing a task on their own. It’s okay to not turn in something perfect, and it’s okay to fail, as long as you learn something from it. Allow your child to learn these things.

I’ll Have a Regular Date Night
Arranging your life around your kids and job is all well and good, but what about your partner? You two need a little alone time too — away from the kids and other distractions — to reconnect as a couple. Planning date nights is a common resolution at the beginning of the year, but by the time back-to-school season hits, who has time? Celebrate the start of the new school year by hiring a babysitter and getting some relationship time with your significant other.

Steve Hiles’ Educational Resources

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